1. |
Shpinistom Enirat
01:57
|
|||
Se tu iroms montoyd,
Aùscultu iyed Shpinistom.
Egui phluizhigot tun
Ed trinkot tun
Ed nemyu trovot tuayn ostoyn
Timu Shpiniston!
Timu eguin!
|
||||
2. |
Rinse Me, Idiot
06:16
|
|||
A casket for a slug
A carpet stained with melting jokebooks
The funeral’s today
But I can’t find a date to go with
My fingernails are rusting off
But these scratch ‘n’ sniffs are amazing
Smells like a clickety-clackety cross
Tracking salt across my basement
I suck meat through a brass straw
I built myself a gooseflesh mausoleum
Didn’t put a door in the wall
Dissolved my sugar cubes so nobody can see ‘em
Razor blades in the banana peels
A gaping gash in the Achilles Tendon
Animal bananas are moray eels
Humans are bags to stick your head in
Rinse me, idiot!
I am covered in scorpions
This ain't your grandmother's disease
I went for a swim today
The water tasted just like Vasoline
I drank it down and pissed it all away
And now the lifeguard is mad at me
The doctor switched my kneecaps
So I'd stop spinning around & around
Now I just spin in the other direction
But I can still roll from A to B if I stay on the ground
Rinse me, idiot!
I am covered in scorpions
This ain't your grandmother's disease
|
||||
3. |
||||
Breakfast‽
For dinner‽
Who ever heard of such a thing‽
You made that up!
|
||||
4. |
||||
I come bearing grave apologies from management
It seems you were given breakfast for dinner
Who ever heard of such a thing?
The human body has a peculiar way of processing breakfast for dinner: You're going to defecate your own liver
We're so sorry
|
||||
5. |
Out To Lunch
00:25
|
|||
And if you need me, I'll be dangling from the head of a live goat
With the horn so far down my throat
That it might displace my adam's apple
|
||||
6. |
The Gardener
00:46
|
|||
She goes to the garden and tears at the soil
She glares at the worms that slide through the yard
She sees how the ground is so soft
And so are the worms
And so is her body
And hopes that heaven transgresses
The festering mucus
& putrid senescence
She fears in her heart
|
||||
7. |
Are You Insane‽
02:27
|
|||
I am not insane
My brain is pulsating hard but thinking normally
I wiggle my finger into a vein
And pull out a very long hair
I can't hear the rain
But I can feel an uncanny breath
A fragrance of whimsical death
A screaming creature in my shoe
With bleeding teeth and eyes askew
But I'm broken
Because I left my bathrobe out in the rain
And I left my soap in my bathrobe
And lost my proximity to godliness
And if it gets any worse, then I might have to resort to hope
|
||||
8. |
Love Waltz
01:39
|
|||
We were wearing crotchless diapers
(You know the ones)
We made love
(Sexually, that is)
She said, “Hey, Buddy,
That’s a pretty low sperm count you got there;
I can hardly feel
Just a few of those things
Squirming around”
|
||||
9. |
Amateur Cowboy
02:58
|
|||
Don't quit your day job, cowboy
You got high on your own supply
And now you've a mouthful of sour milk
Take a deep breath
Spit out the nitrogen
And render yourself to the goblins
Stretching ribbons
Over holes
In your sleep
|
||||
10. |
||||
Everything gives me diarrhea except for human meat
So sit your ass down & eat
Because we had linguine last night
I don't like linguine
It gives me diarrhea
The moon looks like some sort of fucked up fruit
The ground looks like some sort of fucked up floor
The sky looks like some kind of fucked up void
With a fucked up fruit
Floating around in it
Everything gives me diarrhea except for human meat
So sit your ass down & eat
Because we had linguine last night
I don't like linguine
It gives me diarrhea
|
||||
11. |
AapioflooSg ioets
01:21
|
|||
I was coughing up
Squid meat
On your
Front
Porch
And you came out
I didn’t ring the doorbell but you came out
And you said that you
Didn’t believe
In animal thigmotropism
And I said I didn’t believe in animal thigmotropism either
And that
Seemed to bother you
For some reason
|
||||
12. |
Ointment City
02:22
|
|||
I want to go to Ointment City
Where all the ointment is on sale
I want to go to Ointment City
Grab a scoop and fill your pail
For $14.95
It’s the only municipality where I want to be alive
It’s the only municipality where I’m not afraid of God
Because they’ve got all the ointment you could want
I’ve got a girl in Ointment City
Well, not “got”, per se, but I sure am glad to know her
And when we walk together down the street
People say,
“Get out of the street!
You’re going to get yourselves run over!”
She does something for a living
She said it was none of my business
Or maybe she just didn’t tell me
Or maybe she told me and I just forgot
But when she shines in the moonlight
Anointed
With viscid,
Glistening
Ointment,
I like that a lot
|
||||
13. |
Denim
02:01
|
|||
My jeans are too small
Had to grease them up
Just so I could fit inside
They were discount
But the amount
I had to spend on lard
Has offset the savings
I wasted an entire evening
In the bathroom of my local laundromat
Somebody is pounding on the door
Yelling at me
And I’m just replying,
“Occupied! Occupied!”
I haven’t flushed for hours
My laundry has been stolen already
I have nothing to lose
I’m just going to stay here until the police kick down the door
I read in the news
About a sea cucumber
That grew
A set of legs
But it didn’t grow a brain so it didn’t know how to use them
It got eaten by a barracuda
Who appreciated those legs more than the sea cucumber ever did
But it was too polite to urinate in the water
So it died of a bladder infection.
|
||||
14. |
Hollywood Tour
03:32
|
|||
Hollywood tour
We were on a Hollywood tour
The tour guide took us past
Mt D'mon’s house
The blinds were open
And he was masturbating
Furiously
To a photo of someone I think that I knew in college
But the tour guide wouldn’t let me off the bus
And the tour guide wouldn’t let me throw anything
And the tour guide took us past Kllsey Grmmr’s house
But Kllsey Grmmr’s blinds
Were closed
|
||||
15. |
30 Pound Yak
01:04
|
|||
There’s a 30 pound yak
Digging a hole in the mattress
Down to where the monsters dwell
He’s only looking for crumbs
He could use the carbs
We all agree
But it sure is hard to sleep
I can see the moon from my house
I can feel a tingle in the roof of my mouth
|
||||
16. |
Sandwich
01:07
|
|||
And I’d like to make a sandwich
But I don’t particularly want the bread
But all of my forks are dirty
Because I have got to stop storing forks in this dirty sock
But I’d hate to throw it away
And I can’t find the other one
And my veins are getting brittle
As I’m sitting at the craft fair
Selling artisanal hammers
Sure, they’re only dowels glued to bricks
And the glue still hasn’t dried
You just have to be gentle
Everyone’s a parody of what they want to be
An alligator pawing at the edges of the tub
All bacteria go to Heaven
So if you ever go, you’d better bring a pair of gloves
|
||||
17. |
||||
18. |
Super Savers
02:16
|
|||
What are you going to do
With those ointment coupons?
May I use them
To wipe up my nosebleed?
I’ll keep the barcodes clean
So they’ll still scan just fine If you still want to use them
For fuck’s sake, they expire tomorrow
Where are you going to get a rash by tomorrow?
|
||||
19. |
Saliva
01:21
|
|||
The moon
Is full
Of saliva
And we’re digging For saliva
On the moon
So we can swallow Everything
That we consume
My skin
Is made of worms
And I don’t know
What’s compelling them to stay
And I’m so scared
That they’ll all just slither away
And leave me here alone with my insides
|
||||
20. |
||||
Grip to squeeze
Squeeze to snip
Snip to clip
Clip to sweep
Sweep to clump
Clump to gulp
Gulp to cough
Cough forever
Cough forever!
Live to cough!
Live forever!
I didn’t mean to make eye contact with you
I didn’t mean to make eye contact with you
I didn’t mean to make eye contact with you
Just putting these goat teeth in the ‘fridge
Did you mean to make eye contact with me?
Because I don’t mind if you did
We were splashing around in clown paint when the summer came
Got on our blistered knees and scrubbed the floor with toothpaste
It was silver then
I suppose that’s always what it will have been
But I don’t think about it much outside of my bed
In the future, they’ll have tentacles for seatbelts
They’ll have wheels that can swerve even when you’re not moving
And you can listen to this song on the radio
Those future people sure do think of everything
May I stay at your apartment tonight, please?
Mine is still infested with foot fetishists
I see you putting an apple in the microwave
Did you google that to make sure that it won’t explode?
I trimmed my fingernails so I would stop cutting my thumbs while I twiddled them
Shredded a kitchen sponge to maximize surface area
Gripped it so hard that my knuckles burst open
It took the whole sponge
To clean it up
Come over here so we can cough together
Let me teach you how to cough forever
|
||||
21. |
s etiog oSloofpiAa
01:22
|
|||
22. |
Shpinistom Elirat
01:56
|
|||
Se tu iroms montoyd,
Aùskultu iyed Shpinistom.
Egui phluizhigot tun
Ed trinkot tun
Ed nemyu trovot tuayn ostoyn
Timu Shpiniston!
Timu eguin!
|
Earwig Deluxe Charleston, South Carolina
Oneiromaniacal chumpdust for the Ass Generation.
Streaming and Download help
If you like Earwig Deluxe, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp