Things I'd Do for You

by Earwig Deluxe

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A love song


There are all sorts of things I'd do for you
I'd do them at a drop of a dime if you asked me to
I'd cross great lands, I'd tranverse seas
For everything you'd do for me
there are a trillion things that I would do for you
There's a great big world out there for me and you
For you I'd put aside my mop and broom
and live inside my parents' living room
I'd never leave the couch at all
eating lunchables and watching Steven Seagal
unless, of course, my gaze is fixed on you
I'd never work another day in my life, just for you
For you, I'd bang all kinds of prostitutes
Even if it meant an STD or two
All you'd have to do is say
you wish that I'd plow whores all day
especially that triple D named Sue
I'd steal your debit card and drain your bank account on Sue
I'd go into a preschool if you asked me to
and I'd run around that preschool in the nude
I'd wave my erection around at every class
in nothing but an old ski mask
and scream at all the children just for you
and threaten them with a machete just for you
Yes, for you I'd do all of that and more
I'd urinate on cops or rob a liquor store
I'd murder that cocksucker Benny in the apartment next door
But that doesn't mean I'm buying you a birthday present
you whore


released June 20, 2012




Earwig Deluxe Knoxville, Tennessee

Music isn't really my thing

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