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lyrics

My jeans are too small
Had to grease them up
Just so I could fit inside
They were discount
But the amount
I had to spend on lard
Has offset the savings

I wasted an entire evening
In the bathroom of my local laundromat
Somebody is pounding on the door
Yelling at me
And I’m just replying,
“Occupied! Occupied!”
I haven’t flushed for hours
My laundry has been stolen already
I have nothing to lose
I’m just going to stay here until the police kick down the door

I read in the news
About a sea cucumber
That grew
A set of legs
But it didn’t grow a brain so it didn’t know how to use them
It got eaten by a barracuda
Who appreciated those legs more than the sea cucumber ever did
But it was too polite to urinate in the water
So it died of a bladder infection.

credits

from It's An Emergency To Them, released November 27, 2021

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Earwig Deluxe Charleston, South Carolina

Oneiromaniacal chumpdust for the Ass Generation.

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