Hey woah you can't just walk right up to him
Yeah, no, your shirt is offensive to him
Honestly it's offensive to me a little bit too
It looks comfortable though; is it a cotton/nylon blend?
Let me feel that.
he should have practiced a bit more before he recorded this
but I mean it's practically just a scale
I don't think anyone is hankering for a pristine version of it

My jeans are too small, had to grease em up
just so I could fit inside
they were discount
but the amount I've had to spend on lard
has offset the savings

I wasted an entire evening
in the bathroom of my local laundrymat
The manager is yelling at me
I'm just replying, "Occupied, Occupied"

I haven't flushed for hours
My laundry has been stolen already
I got nothin to lose
I'm gonna stay here til the police kick down the door

I read in the news
about a sea cucumber
that grew a set of legs
but it didn't grow a brain
so it didn't know how to use em

It got eaten by a barracuda
who appreciated those legs more than the sea cucumber ever did
but was too polite to piss in the water
and died of a bladder infection

IS THAT AN 8 LEGGED FLESH BULLD-
[shhh]
[You can't talk over the solo]
What if I speak in a lower frequency
Then people can still here the solo just fine

8 legged flesh bulldozer
no permit
Reckon that I'm gonna go on a swinge binge
Can't find my keys
to the 8 legged flesh bulldozer
Has anyone seen my keys
They have a little keychain with Peter Griffin on it
Used to be you could press a little button and it'd say a quote from the show
but it's out of batteries now.
My cousin tried to replace the batteries for me as a birthday present
but he got electrocuted and died

Come lie on the grass with me
Let's make out and tousle each other's pubes
I've got something in my eye
Aould you get it out with your teeth
That would be romantic

Autumn leaves cling to our sweating bodies
You are pouring chocolate syrup on my nipples
The ants are eating me alive
Did you forget to mix the chocolate syrup with insecticides
Like you're supposed to do when we make love outside
Please don't cry
Please don't cry
I'm not angry I'm just losing a lot of blood
and skin
and other miscellaneous tissues

The moon is full of saliva
and we're digging for saliva on the moon
so we can swallow everything that we consume

Life is a big ballet
by which I mean it's not very interesting to most people
and it costs a lot of money just to be there
but if it's good enough for Tchaikovsky and Mingus, then I guess it's good enough for me
[It wasn't good enough for Sylvia Plath]
Oh, I was talking about ballet